Personal Essay

I know it's taken me a hot minute to put my peronal essay up here ... I'm still working on it !!! Give me some time ...

Indya Harrison
English 3017-Draft 1
“Beauty”


Paris Hilton, Nichole Ritchie, Ashley Simpson, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson and a host of well known celebrities have made it hard for average individuals who have fat in all the right places to be seen as beautiful. Having never worn a size zero and never weighted a womping negative two pounds I find it very difficult to see how the things that I have listed make any individual beautiful. If that is so America has a lot to do in order for things to satisfy the definition that is available for individuals like myself. I am what I say I am and if I wasn’t then why would I actually say I am. I have come a long way from being the young girl who thought the opinions of what others viewed her as played a crucial role in the development of my life. I am Muslim which makes me different from others I have just realized recently I cannot and will not do things that others may do. I am 5’2 sometimes wishing I was 5’3 but that is not going to happen I stopped growing when I was sixteen if I am not mistaken. I have fat in all the right places I hate terming myself as being obese or fat. I’m just plain old pleasantly plump which all men love if you were to ask me. I don’t think I’ve ever worn a size zero it’s impossible I really don’t think my hand would even be able to fit in anything made in that size. I’m in the double digits. It sounds like I’m trying to write an ad for the classifieds in the local newspaper but in all actuality I’m not. I’m just stating the obvious for you the reader. Beauty has never looked so good until I graced the world with my presence. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to fit the stereotypical norms America has set for individuals like me, individuals who are women. Why beauty is always have to be a female who has long hair that reaches their asses, be skinny, tall, lean, and light skin? Is this all society thinks of when it comes to what beauty is? I have always raised an eyebrow to all the questions I just asked. Webster’s Dictionary defines beauty as the quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality; one that is beautiful, especially a beautiful woman. A quality or feature that is most effective, gratifying, or telling. All of these definitions given are the physical necessities that go along with being what people say beauty may be. I have my own definitions of beauty. Beauty is in the way you carry yourself. The way you see yourself every time you awake in the morning and you see your face, which is a direct reflection of who you are. Beauty to me is more of an inner factor more so than an outer one. Growing up I was once deemed as perfect for some odd reason that’s what America told me I was. I was five when this all started weighing approximately twenty pounds or so if I am correct. Skinny and never having gained a single pound until I started that unfaithful year in kindergarten. It brings tears to my eyes just to think of it, I’m joking. Milk and cookies is why I am the size I am, I think. That was the best day of my life that was the day I discovered snacks literally helped you cope with life. My life wasn’t horrible but I think it affected the way I viewed myself for a while. Hoping someone would call me beautiful I found the only way to view myself as being beautiful was to eat which I enjoy that’s exactly why I have labeled myself an individual who enjoys tasting the different stylistics of food available. First grade came and went by and by then I was a chubby little thing. Picked on for my weight and the way my parents dressed me and did my hair was a boost in the way I viewed myself. I was always labeled the funny “fat girl” who at time showed emotion when she was picked on to the point of little to no control. As I grew and matured, I tried to sugar coat the way everyone saw an individual like me. A true force not to be reckoned with, as I said before I am what I say I am and if I wasn’t then why would I actually say I am. I’m twenty years old and am forever wondering if all individuals still view me in the same light. Am I still that Indya who took other individuals opinions over her own? I don’t think I am. I’m not conceited to say the least I just have certain ideas that still weigh down in my head. I question myself every once and a while and realize beauty is what I make of it. I know I will never be Paris Hilton, Nichole Ritchie, Ashley Simpson, Beyonce, Jessica Simpson skinny but I also know that with the opinions I have expressed it makes it not so difficult to understand the term beauty I make for myself. In college, I catch myself saying “No man wants a dog but a bone” and I guess this is an additional way to see myself as being beautiful this is a constant way to prove to myself. Many men especially in African American communities view women who say statements such as these in a way that they are the cream de la cream. Meaning that they are not only beautiful and enjoy tasting different types of foods but they also know what they want in life.